Tuesday’s Thoughts…

 

Why does this look so delicious?  Would it be the warm bread, the rich cinnamon and whatever that goopy stuff is?  Hmmm.  It’s from the genius baker at Half Baked Harvest.  Her foods are simple yet amazing.  I really want to try this for Christmas morning.  It’s a sort of a Monkey Bread that she turned into a snowflake!

She also makes her own homemade pierogis…and her cookie boxes are just way too beautiful to eat…almost!

 

I am almost finished with this and it’s so good I am tempted to get another one…this is a series I could easily blast through.  But then this one popped up with great reviews and the cover grabbed me and I am thinking it’s about Christmas so I think I will read it next!

Today is the day I like to plan out how the next two weeks will go…I had a blood test yesterday and I will see my Oncologist tomorrow at 9:45.  I feel strangely calm.  I think I have finally realized that this is my life…I will spend my life trying to be normal while I also try to dodge these scary cancer cells.  I can pray and cry or I can pray and laugh.  At least today I am not crying.  Sort of…

I need to stop whining about my hair, too.  I am sure everyone is sick of it.  I didn’t realize how long it would take to actually not look goofy!  I will probably not look like that first girl for a long long time…if ever.  Sigh!  But hopefully that middle girl will not be back with her headwrap.  Whew!

 

I do feel sorry and sad for me at times…when I least want it to…that “why me” slips into my head.  My life has been so blessed…I don’t want what I have now…I know too much about cancer and chemo and hospitals…it all still scares me!  I get tired.  My body hurts.  I want my old life back…that is my cry…and I know that won’t ever be…it’s gone…really gone… and my new life is what I have to learn to cherish.  Anyway…these are the thoughts that go through my head before meeting with my oncologist…we sit in a little room…he knocks and walks in…and I try to calm down and read his face…he never lies to me…he never candy coats the facts…I hope I don’t faint!

Off to workout…

Hugs,

Patty

 

18 thoughts on “Tuesday’s Thoughts…”

  1. Laurel-Rain Snow says:
    Reply

    I am impressed by how bravely you face your new normal…and while it may never be the same life you had before, you have discovered so many new things about yourself in the process.

    You know you can cope and handle things you would never have imagined…and you have rediscovered the joy of living a day at a time.

    None of us realize what that kind of approach looks like…until we are forced to do so. And then we are free! Free to overcome the worst…and free to discover who we are in the face of challenges. Plus…the joy of good food, good books, and finding out how special our friends and loved ones can be.

    And…you have hair! It will be different, but maybe better. Punky, even.

    Those books do look tempting! Thanks for sharing…have a wonderful day.

    Like

  3. Stefanie says:
    Reply

    One day at a time, yeah? I hope the news is good. Tiny steps are better than none. Man, that bread looks good. It looks like cinnamon buns but a snowflake, pull-apart bread. That gingerbread man on that book cover had me LOL’ing.
    And thank you for your sweet comment on today’s post. I will think about short tutorials next year. Caught the husband’s ick which I hope won’t be as bad as his. My poor honey had to deal with a flat tire this morning. He said it just isn’t his week.

    Like

    • Patty Magyar says:
      Reply

      A flat tire? It’s definitely not his week…feel better soon! I am thinking that bread is easy to make but I am probably wrong. Ovarian cancer…it’s a tough one…I can only pray on a daily basis.

      Like

  4. Mary says:
    Reply

    Patty, I’m sending good thoughts for your appointment tomorrow!
    And omg the cinnamon rolls look perfect for my morning coffee. I really need to try making them one day.

    Like

  5. BermudaOnion says:
    Reply

    You sure are a warrior! I just read Endurance by Scott Kelly – he was diagnosed with prostate cancer and he talked about thinking every ache and pain he had might be cancer. I think the thoughts you have are all very normal and to be expected. Take care of yourself and let us know the good news the doctor shares with you tomorrow.

    Like

  8. Stephanie@Fairday's Blog says:
    Reply

    It sounds like you have a wonderful oncologist. It is important that he tells you the truth and doesn’t lie to you. Then you know you can believe or trust in what he tells you.

    You can’t help but want to go back to your life before- that is normal. But, it sounds like you are appreciating and learning to accept the life you have now. You sound stronger and healthier all the time- so that is definitely a win. And your hair is growing in a lot! Hopefully it is helping to keep your head warm. 🙂

    Now I want some homemade perogies. Luckily, my mother-in-law makes a ton of them at Christmas. 🙂 Those treats look tasty too.
    Sending hugs!

    Like

    • Patty Magyar says:
      Reply

      He is wonderful. Truly. I am better at acceptance now. I am learning. My head is warmer all of the time. I can wake up and run my hands through it and I am set for the day…no scrunchies for a long time! Enjoy your pierogis…homemade is the best!

      Like

  9. Ti says:
    Reply

    Everyone says “one step at a time” but I like to look back. If you scroll through your posts from a year ago, you will see the change and how far you’ve come. That’s the beauty of blogging. It’s right there for you to take a peek at.

    Like

Leave a comment