I don’t know how I will feel each day when I wake up…my stomach often feels as though I have a tight rubber band around it…it often hurts but Dr. Rhodes…the surgeon…says that is normal for the amount of healing I need to do…which may take months and months and months. Sometimes if I am walking my circuit around the house I get out of breath…sometimes walking up the stairs at the day’s end…I get out of breath…again…to be expected. Tears, not ever feeling really hungry, fatigue, these are all huge issues to overcome in my efforts to get better and stronger. I could not walk around the grocery store today and shop…it would be too much for me. Sometimes getting in and out of the car for appointments…is exhausting…driving over bumps…painful…sleeping through the night…elusive. I have stress filled and anxious feelings that I never had before. I take something for them. If I didn’t I would probably cry nonstop. I think I mentioned that I have never been ill before…never needed the hospital…never had even a tiny health scare…until now…

But none of the above phased me like wearing that wound vac. I will eat protein and drink orange juice at every meal if I have to. And yes…I have to go back next Monday…so that wound can be checked out…yet again!

But…here are my joyful notes!

I walked to the car with Den with both arms swinging free!

I got up about 50 times without unplugging something.

I went to the bathroom without hanging a black bag on the door.

I carried things into the house…a bag in each hand!

I got my nightgown out of a drawer without trying to figure out where to put the vac!

I looked normal…walking to the car…without loops of see through tubes with gunk flowing through them!

A friend spent the afternoon with me today…it was delightful!

I slept better!

What I mean to say is this…

the joyful notes out weigh the unjoyful notes!



22 thoughts on “Joy…

  1. Argie says:

    Hi Patty, I have been following your journey! I was worrying about you during the summer, you were silent for so long! Glad today is mostly better news! I am not a blogger but am a reader of some book blogs and as I have mentioned before, I love yours. I was so sorry to hear about this happening to you. I did not post before, I did not want to intrude. But, I am happy to give you a thumbs up in your “joy” today. Rhonda Furstein


  2. Liz Crum says:

    The things you can now do are wonderful! In a few weeks you will be surprised at how much better you feel. The flowers are lovely! Hey, I see where you followed me on Google. I don't post on there. Follow me on Facebook to see what I'm up to. By the way, Monday's blog disappeared. I have no idea why! Keep hanging in there.


  3. McGuffy Ann Morris says:

    There you go! The more joy you seek, the more you will find it. And, one thing I have learned from being chronically ill, it is that this Joy is healing, both physically and emotionally. The hurt-tears will turn into joyful tears. Those, my friend, are perfectly fine. Celebrate the small things; they all add up to real blessings. Hugs.


  4. Ti says:

    The band thing is the internal suturing. It will always be tight when you sneeze, etc. You get used to it.

    Don't carry too much. It's good to try but take it easy there! LOL.

    Did you sleep at all last night?


  5. Patty Magyar says:

    The band thing drives me crazy! Yes…Den was mad too about the carrying. I slept better last night! I woke up at 1:11…but fell asleep again…I did move from bed to chair and watched a Real Housewives but fell asleep before it ended. I hate my sleep patterns!


  6. judith szabo says:

    i love you patty..reading your blog makes me get teary eyed..i am happy for every little bit of progress and sad for all that you have been going through..may each day just continue to bring you one accomplishment after another..and make you stronger and stronger..God bless you sweet friend


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