I am trying so hard to stay on top of things…I really am…but I am exhausted. I met with my beloved Oncologist…then my second beloved surgeon oncologist…then my beloved nurse Navigator. Then Monday was a rest day…then Tuesday was a meeting with the surgeon…then on Wednesday the trip to the ambulatory center to get a new port in and then an old port in my tummy out. Ick! Normally you get this wonderful stuff called twilight sleep but I had to have complete anesthesia because apparently I move way too much. But here is the most amazing thing! When I woke up I woke up in bright lights…vivid bright sparkly lights and my mom was there telling me to notice the lights and appreciate the lights! And then I couldn’t stop telling the nurses about the lights and how amazing the lights made me feel!
I have had to type this paragraph about a zillion times because it’s been gibberish. I also think I typed it before but I don’t even care. I just want to put my head down on my pillow and sleep and then shower and then sleep even more! What is wrong with me? My tummy is bloated, I can’t keep my eyes open and chemo starts on Wednesday! Den is doing everything and it breaks my heart. I pray that once I get into a routine I will be more normal and helpful! But I can’t look at food right now and I can only drink limeade…tart icy and cold!
I am praying for strength…I need to care for my Den and my girls…I need to walk and move. I need to dig deep within me and do this!