So I read my kitty book…then I read a Beast book…a version of Beauty And The Beast…and now I am reading this new Jane Ann Krentz book…which I can’t put down…so far…I seem to say that a lot…don’t I? The can’t put down part…but why would anyone want to read a book that they could put down? Not this girl…
So I have been thinking a lot about family this week…my adventurous sister and her husband are at a dude ranch in New Mexico just a few weeks after we had a fun week here…my brother and his wife are trying to stay strong during a family loss and I am here just trying to stay healthy and feel ok. It’s funny the way family issues either bring you closer or tear you apart. Den’s brother’s wife will text me daily…just to see how I am…I don’t need her to do that but the fact that she does it warms my soul. She is the one who taught me it’s ok to read a whole bunch of books at a time. She loves the library and we talk books constantly.
My brother’s wife’s baby brother died this week. I might have met him once or twice…at their wedding for sure. He was 54 years old. He loved sports. He was about to get married when they discovered an advanced cancer. His parents are in their 90’s and preparing to bury their youngest child. I thought about him last night…a good old Milwaukee boy…beer, brauts and the Packers on Sunday. NorthPoint Frozen Custard? Leon’s? Cheese Curds? Friday Fish Fries? Old Milwaukee neighborhoods? I really didn’t know him but what I have learned about him has affected me deeply during the last few months. I need to cherish every minute that my family is intact…every single chemo ache or pain is to be held onto and remembered because it’s keeping me alive…literally. My brother went through cancer treatment last summer. It was devastating but he came out of it strong…when he talks to me…when I seek him out…I listen to everything he says because he’s lived this and he knows. He knows what it’s like to be haunted at night…to think about what used to be…to not be able to go back to BC…before cancer…sigh! And his wife? OMG…her capacity for caring for all of us is immeasurable…her strength in caring for my brother and then hers as well as aging parents…I don’t even have words.
I have a check up today…just to see how things are working. Did you know that there is such a thing as chemo brain? You just can’t explain it!