Thoughts…

Off to chemo I go…I can do this…I have done it before.  The key for me is not to think too much about it and just try to get through the blood taking, the tubes, the fluids going in and not to freak out when I see the Kool Aid red colored chemo bag.  Den is with me…through everything.  I can do it without him but his strength is now my strength.  I know he does all of this for me…so that I will feel safe.  He packs the bag of comfort stuff.  He makes me eat something when I don’t think I can eat a bite of anything.  He is such a familiar face there that if I walk in without him the first thing everyone asks is…Where is Den?   I just don’t feel normal on Chemo Day.  I feel sad, alone, and scared.  No bravado for me today.  Just a good dose of fear and lots of prayers.

Books…

Started this but although it is really good I am not in the mood for it…

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I am having a hard time transitioning to a new book.  I may have to rethink starting one of these.  I need a fast pace that will keep my interest.  Sigh!

No thoughts of food or clothes or anything fun today.  I just need to get through these next few hours.

Patty

21 thoughts on “Thoughts…

  1. Shirley McCollough Cantriel says:

    You can do it Patty. Know that we are all with you especially today. 

    Sent from Yahoo Mail for iPhone Shirley McCollough Cantriel

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  2. Laurel-Rain Snow says:

    Den is such a tower of strength…and you are becoming your own tower, as you go through the process again.

    I like the idea of the comfort bags.

    I enjoyed The Winter Sister, but maybe you need something light and funny for a day like today. I hope one of your books can give you that.

    Sending positive energy your way!

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  3. Ti says:

    Are you still in the chair? I know how you dread these days but you are almost done. Some trash TV might get you through if you aren’t in the mood to read.

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  4. aubieal0878 says:

    When I was diagnosed with endometrial cancer and was to have surgery, I just tried to not dwell on it. I asked the questions I needed to know about the surgery and treatment afterwards, but I tried to put it aside, and go day by day, concentrate on the kitties, any needlework project I was working on at the moment, etc.
    I hope that your treatments end soon and you don’t have to have them any more.
    Your are so blessed to have Den♥️

    Y’all will be back to cooking and riding the countryside by the weekend. Weather here is up in the 70s, it with you drop some to 50-60s after this rain passes, but daffodils 💐are a blooming so Spring is in sight!

    I’d try reading Little Lovely Things or Wicked Saints one looks light the other intriguing.

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    • Patty Magyar says:

      Love your recs…I did not read at all yesterday…after treatment I am bouncy due to steroids. I played word games. So sorry about your cancer. We are in a bonded club…aren’t we?
      Den is my anchor…but when we are at Penn…it’s tons of little sweet elderly couples…helping each other. Even nuns with nuns…and we all chat and we all know what it’s like…they all think I am the young one of our funny club! Oh…and the nun was the only one eating spicy chili while getting chemo!

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  5. Mary says:

    I hope you’re feeling good this morning. I’ve been at my mom’s this week and she ended up in the hospital so I haven’t been checking blogs. Hopeful she’s coming home today though.
    Hugs.

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